The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round...

When we were living in England, I took the bus to Leicester every day for work. It was on average an hour's ride, but on bad traffic days, it took an hour and a half. The city was only about 20 miles away, but the bus had to go through all these little villages en route, so it took forever. Unfortunately, the bus was the type they use on local routes, meaning people don't ride it for very long, so the seats weren't very comfortable. For those of us who rode it all the way to the end of the line, we were all a bit crunchy and grumpy by the time we arrived.

I always sat towards the back of the bus where there was more room between the seats, so I had a great view of my fellow passengers. Below are some memorable ones:

Turn around and stare guy
This man was always on the bus before me in the mornings, so I don't know where he got on. And for whatever reason, I'd get on the bus and he would turn around and stare at me. At first, I thought he was looking at someone else, but one time, I was the only person sitting in the seats behind him. And he turned and stared. Every day. It really started creeping me out. One day, the only seat available was directly behind him, and he was sitting in the window seat. I thought I'd psyche him out and sit in the window seat so that if he tried to stare, he'd have to turn all the way around and be obvious about it. AND HE DID!!! Luckily, he got off the bus at the halfway point on the route, so I only had to be creeped out for half the ride each day.

Singsong lady
This woman got on the bus about 6 stops after me, and every day when she got on the bus, she'd say in a very sing-songy voice, "Leicester, please!" You could tell if she was tired or not having a good morning, because she wouldn't sound quite as cheerful and chirpy. When it started to get cold in the mornings, she started wearing a fuzzy hat that was leopard print in the style of those boxy, tall Russian winter hats. I just found it funny for some reason.

Grumpy purple jacket lady
This woman was on the bus on the way home. She always wore the same purple jacket, no matter the weather, and had a really tight perm on her short hair. She was very heavy and walked as if she was slightly infirm, and never, ever said thank you to the bus driver when she got off the bus (as most people did). If she had to share a seat with someone, she got this really sour look on her face. She just had this extremely grumpy vibe about her.

Mentally-handicapped agitated man
This man would get on the bus in Leicester with me to come home. I got off in Ashby before him, so who knows where he got off the bus. He was probably in his early forties and was mentally handicapped in some manner. He would talk to himself and the walls at the bus station before we got on, and then occasionally shout at people after we got on the bus to go home. Most of the ride, he was quiet and would rock back and forth in his seat. But once we reached this certain town on the route, he would begin to get really agitated and shake his fist at people. He would shout as people got off the bus: "Yeah, you get off the bus you ..." (insert mumbling insult here) and sometimes swear at them. He always carried a pen and would make stabbing motions at people as they got off the bus. He wasn't a small man, so it was a bit scary because you never quite knew what he would do or say. He always sat in the very right-front seat, and would get upset if someone else got there first.

Drunk singing Scottish guy
This guy got on the bus only once coming home. First off, he was wearing a short-sleeved polo shirt and shorts on a really cold day. He was red in the face like sometimes people get when they have had too much too often. And, he stunk up the whole bus with alcohol fumes. He proceeded to sit in front of these two young women, maybe around 19 years old or so, and try to chat them up. They kept looking around the bus like, "Help us!" When his pickup lines failed to work, he began to sing to them. By this time, everyone on the bus was annoyed and kept shooting him dirty looks. But he carried on in his oblivious, amorous state. He got off the bus in Ashby, and almost stumbled down the street. I wondered at the time if he even had a remote clue where he was.

Punk/skater couple
This was a boy- and girlfriend team who rode the bus all the way to Leicester. I think they were in university there, as they always carried bookbags. Plus, sometimes they went together, and sometimes it was just one or the other. Maybe the class days were different. Anyway, they had lots of piercings on their faces, tattoos, and dressed like goth/skater/punk people. I have no idea what they're called today. Before I quit riding the bus, the girl had fluorescent pink hair and her boyfriend had sort of a mohawk with blue along the top and bleached out along the back. They seemed friendly enough, but I had the unfortunate experience of sitting directly behind them one morning--let's just say I think they had some issues with personal hygiene.

A man I used to work with said he had no problem with public transportation--it was just the public that bothered him. C'est vrai.