Le Gym

We have been going to a local gym in Antibes for over a year now. It is not too bad--clean enough, friendly people, and a decent selection of equipment. It's an interesting experience though, because the gym etiquette is somewhat different.

For example, in the US, you do your sets on a machine, let others work in if they want, and move on. Here, a guy will do a set, leave his towel covering the whole seat, go to the fountain for a drink of water, go chat with his friend, have a conversation on his mobile phone, and maybe 10 minutes later, come back. And then proceed to look shocked if you have had the audacity to move his stuff. Then, there are the guys who will hog a particular machine for well over 15 minutes, doing set after set. These guys don't even leave the seat at all and when they're between sets, look menacingly at anyone who approaches to work in. And getting told off for asking to work in just doesn't make it worth the effort (believe me). Or sometimes there is a group of 3 or 4 guys, all using the same machine, taking turns. And hogging it for 1/2 an hour. Sigh.

Plus, they don't require gym attire. At most other gyms we've gone to, you have to wear athletic shoes at a minimum. Not so at this gym. There is this one bodybuilder guy I've seen often who wears a huge, shapeless t-shirt over little spandex shorts and flip-flops, even in winter. During the summer, the proportion of sandaled feet increases greatly. I guess people don't care too much about dropping weights on bare feet or brushing against sweaty machines. Often, people come in and work out in their street clothes, which must be interesting for them if they go out with friends straight after...

Now, of course, you think with all the rumours of stinky French people, the place must smell like a cesspool or something. In general, it really doesn't. Surprising, perhaps, but true.

However, lately, Stinky McStinkerson and all his friends have been working out. Together. And this isn't even summer, when we're all a bit sweaty to start with due to the heat. No, these guys apparently never, EVER wear deodorant. Or use soap, for that matter. It's one thing to maybe work out hard and have a bit of an scent if your deodorant fails. But it's another to never, ever use anything. AND wear a tank top so you can share with everyone. These guys (they are always guys!) seem to roam the gym in packs, so it's not like you catch a whiff and can move on. You get run over by the proverbial Mack truck of B.O.

p.s. For those of you familiar with the TV program "Little Britain", the French version of Vicky Pollard belongs to our gym. No joke!