A lesson in French etiquette

This weekend, Kevin was away overnight in Mallorca (more on that soon...), so I had the apartment to myself.

I decided to have a few of my girlfriends over Sat. night for some munchies and drinks, just to hang out. There were 4 of us: me, a Swedish woman, and 2 French women. I had a nice, relaxed day to get everything prepared. But then everyone showed up at exactly 7:30 on the dot, just as the aperitifs were coming out of the oven. I had to buzz people in the door, and my one friend was calling my mobile phone to ask about parking... It got a bit chaotic there for 15 minutes or so.

After everyone arrived and sat down, I set out all the food on the coffee table in the living room and poured drinks. I realized I had forgotten a spoon for the salad, so I went back into the kitchen and said that everyone should go ahead and help themselves.

When I came back in the room, they still had not touched the food. I was a bit puzzled, but said, "Please, eat!"

And they still didn't eat. Ummm.......

So then one of my French friends picked up the tray of aperitifs and passed it around to everyone. Aha!

I was a bit mortified at first, thinking, "Oh crap, I'm the worst hostess ever!" But then, I realized that this is really the first time I've had any French people in my house and how the heck would I know the "French way"? In the US, if you put the food out and say, "Eat," people tend to eat. But here, apparently they wait for you, as the host, to serve the food.

A bit later, we finished munching on the aperitifs, and no one had touched the salad. The light bulb finally clicked on in my head (after a couple of glasses of champagne, it was a bit delayed), so I picked up the bowl and served everyone. And we ate.

This may seem like a silly thing, but it made me realize that when you're in a multi-cultural place like this, everyone is used to "his/her" way of doing things, and has a natural tendency to expect that particular behaviour in others. It's more notable when it's different from yours. I was just doing what I would normally do in the US. But of course, you want to do right by your guests, so I felt kind of bad in a "when in Rome" sense. Although I had no clue what they were expecting from me, so there you go. Lesson learned.

Tips for party-going in France:
1) When you host a party, you serve the food to your guests.
2) When you attend a party, you wait until you are served.